"Tell me about your muzzer." -- Dr. Freud

So sorry I've been away for so long... I had to make a deadline for an art exhibit that I waited until the last two weeks to do. Let's go back to the episode I meant to dissect two weeks ago: Dealing with your Childhood Angst Without the Help of a Trained Professional.

As you may remember, the contestants holed up in a children's museum.

And then they were forced to create something out of the crap student art supplies that only mixed-media artists usually know how to transform into something amazing. The artwork had to show how the contestants' childhood experiences transformed them into the artists they are today. The reaction from most of the artists:
"MY CHILDHOOD IS A LOCKED ROOM TO WHICH I HAVE THROWN AWAY THE KEY."

Especially Designated Hotness, who was once -- shocker! -- the kid nobody'd sit with at lunch time.

"It sounds sad, but I would just like, go in the bathroom stall and like, eat my lunch alone." (That explains the boob job and her obsession with the male gaze). Even Cartoony Boy, who usually has great ideas right away, is daunted. Tortured Artist is ready to curl up and die because he can't use his familiar tools: "I don't wanna go home for not knowing how to use popsicle sticks."

The only people excited about the challenge are Swanky and Weird White Girl the Mad Hatter. (Look at her headgear. I had to change her nickname.)

Oh yeah, and no more immunity for winning a challenge. Ready to call Mommy now?

Speaking of mommies, Starving is even more unprepared to deal with his childhood issues. Apparently his Jehovah's Witness mother pretty much ignores him now that he's not down with the church. "I know my mother still loves me to death but she, like..." [four LOOOONG pauses, blinks back tears] "she doesn't respect my life choices."  Poor bastards: they're being judged on their artwork and who they were as vulnerable kids.

Inspector Clouseau pretty much hates everything he sees, because they're recreations of actual childhood artworks. So do the judges and Switzerland. Only Swanky and the Mad Hatter create pieces that are both symbolic and personally meaningful.

The Mad Hatter's artwork looks like My Little Pony went to a swingers' party, but that's the point. "Rainbow" references her childhood growing up in a San Francisco commune -- again, what a shock -- and the people she loved dying of AIDS. Guest judge Will Cotton offers high praise: "I don't often see a work of art that I wish I'd made myself, and yours is one of them."

Starving goes home, but not to Mommy.

Tell me what you thought of this ep, but no spoilers for the next two! I haven't watched them on the DVR yet!

There's no "I" in "team"

Wow, this episode of "Work of Art" is practically a how-to guide on how to work on a creative team. And how not to.

See how excited the Red Team (Cartoony Boy, Swanky, Goofy and Starvingartist) were to create a piece of public art? Led by Swanky, the ideas flew back and forth with very little posing or grandstanding. Even from Starvingartist.

Starving pointed out there should be no moveable parts (nothing to break down or get stolen, right?) and that it should be durable and "sit-on-able." They settled quickly on a design that echoed the gravel shapes in the park site, with the largest piece a geometric "rock" people could lean or lay on.

Even Tortured Artist is enthusiastic about the challenge -- look! He's conscious! Unfortunately, this is about the last moment you'll see the Newb and Tortured work together comfortably. Or with enthusiasm. See, already the Newb's arms are crossed defensively.

At first, I thought the Blue Team, led by Tortured, would be able to get over themselves and work together. Designated Hotness made an oblique apology to the Newb for their drama in a previous challenge. She even tried to help him save face by passing him a note that suggests a more constructive way to argue his ideas.

But the Newb is hugely insecure that he doesn't have an art school degree like the other three, and he was sure they were shutting him out and discarding his ideas. He's terrified he'll go home for not having contributed to the artwork.

So he swings back and forth between being offended and considering DH's note. He settles on whining that the other kids won't play with him. By the time they're banished to the stewing room, the rest of the Blues are so sick of the Newb they leave him to sulk by himself.

Contrast the Blues to the Reds, who all are eager to praise each other's contributions. Someone's goin' home, and it ain't anyone on the Red Team. It ain't Tortured, either, even though two other contestants besides the Newb commented on his melodrama.

You know what was the final irony? The losing team chose to face their artwork towards the most open patch of skyline, which turned out to be the area that used to be filled by the Twin Towers.

So what was the most cringeworthy moment for you in this ep? Tell the world in the comments section.

*squealing brakes* Whoa!

My favorite kind of art experience -- outside of making my own -- is the one on your way to somewhere else. The kind that makes you stop/pull over, check to see if you have time to linger, and then get closer.

I caught artist Allyce Wood mid-installation...

... creating a piece called "The Ancestor of the Irish Elk."

She slowed down a bit to explain the work briefly. (Sorry about the video orientation; oldish brain still learning how newish camera works.) Click to play the video.

Allyce just graduated from Cornish College of the Arts, which loans artworks from its annual Bachelor of Fine Arts exhibition to the the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center. You can see more of her work at Cornish and at the Catherine Person Gallery until early August.

This work can be seen all year round. Lucky for me, I was able to catch the artist's sister-in-law to ask for more information.

Yes, those murals are painted on the chimney...

and the broadside of Andrew Morrison's parents' house. He painted them more than ten years ago, for a high school senior project. But he still gets lots of people urging him to see this mural, not realizing he's the artist. He's gone on to create several other murals in Seattle and Washington state, many inspired by his Haida and Apache heritage.

How lucky am I, getting to see artwork on my way to work?